Hi! Thanks for stopping by; So
you want to know about me? Long story, very long. Well lets start out with
the obvious answers. I'm 30 years old. I have a son,
Allan, who is 6 years old. I married a man 7 years ago, whom I had been with for 6 years. I felt I had cunningly
outsmarted life. My girlfriends from high school all got married and pregnant
at 18. I knew then, they would all be divorced with kids by 22. Guess what?
I was right. Knowing this tidbit of information, I didn't get married or
have a child until I was 23. And to a man I really loved. Granted, there
had been times there had been times that he had exhibited
a violent side. During the course of our 6 years together I had received;
among the numerous injuries: 2 broken noses; the experience of being choked
until I passed out and urinated upon myself; a black eye; etc. I was not
blind to these interludes. The good times far outweighed the bad times;
and amazingly I didn't think of trying to change him. I knew how he was
and I simply accepted the fact. Ha! I told life. My childhood may have
been terrible, but this time I win! And life told me, "Sure you did." as
it laughed. This man I married decided to take a trip to Wacky land and
he has never returned. At first I simply tried to ignore it, his "wackiness".
Until it began to get worse, his moods changed from minute to minute. You
couldn't tell what would or would not set him off. Since then I have been
raped numerous times by him; won't even include the other violence. I had
never believed I would be without him, but the birth of my son made the
difference. I refused to have my son raised in an environment of fear and
tension. The cycle of family violence had to be stopped. I did not want
my son to grow up and do similar things to his "loved ones".
Now, along with my girlfriends,
I too have a child and am looking for a lawyer for divorce.
I am not looking for "Mr. Right"
to come along and take the place of "Mr.
Wacky"; smoothing my life and problems over with ease. In fact my largest
concern is how to provide for my son and myself. There isn't a person on
the face of the earth that can build my self esteem but me. I am trying
to set a good example for my son. Staying off of welfare and trying to
get the bills paid by doing odd jobs is one way. Not searching for a man
to take care of me is another.
It would seem that I
am constantlyand yet getting
only as far as . I'm sure
that there are others out there that feel the same.
Please Sign My Guest
book at the Bottom, I'd love to know who was here learning about me!
I have had so many people
comment that they are shocked by my honesty; especially that I could put
so much of my life open to the public on the internet. When I first
started learning
how to do web pages they were simply referred to as "Personal Home pages".
I took that to mean that you were supposed to tell about yourself; the
things that were important to you; and what was going on in your life.
I didn't want to depress people when they came to my web site, so I wrote
an extremely small portion of what had happened; you could call it a brief
summary. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of blunt)
individual. I do not feel that I have anything to hide. My
updating of my web site has been very tardy...but with good reason.
I have received so many e-mail's and messages in my Guestbook from people
who have learned something from what I've said. From my viewpoint
my page is low in particular information. I tried to keep emotional
content to a minimum simply because I didn't want people to become overly
upset. However, visitors seem to have acquired insight on a problem
I believe rarely thought about. I thought my experiences were common,
I found out that few know of such a life. Also, women who have lived
similarly have sent me e-mail expressing their feelings of comfort in the
knowledge they are not alone. Quite honestly I was afraid if I updated
it that I would screw it up somehow. "Mr. Wacky" moved out of state.
In two years my son has received very little contact. I have to admit
that there is only person that I feel sorry for and that is my son.
He never asked to be born; and every boy needs his Father. From no
fault of his own, he will pay for my mistakes. It is difficult to
be a good Mommy and a responsible workforce citizen. At the moment I am
looking for more opportunities with the computer and home based employment.
To give you an idea of what I am speaking of -
exhibited
a violent side. During the course of our 6 years together I had received;
among the numerous injuries: 2 broken noses; the experience of being choked
until I passed out and urinated upon myself; a black eye; etc. I was not
blind to these interludes. The good times far outweighed the bad times;
and amazingly I didn't think of trying to change him. I knew how he was
and I simply accepted the fact. Ha! I told life. My childhood may have
been terrible, but this time I win! And life told me, "Sure you did." as
it laughed. This man I married decided to take a trip to Wacky land and
he has never returned. At first I simply tried to ignore it, his "wackiness".
Until it began to get worse, his moods changed from minute to minute. You
couldn't tell what would or would not set him off. Since then I have been
raped numerous times by him; won't even include the other violence. I had
never believed I would be without him, but the birth of my son made the
difference. I refused to have my son raised in an environment of fear and
tension. The cycle of family violence had to be stopped. I did not want
my son to grow up and do similar things to his "loved ones".
"Mr.
Wacky"; smoothing my life and problems over with ease. In fact my largest
concern is how to provide for my son and myself. There isn't a person on
the face of the earth that can build my self esteem but me. I am trying
to set a good example for my son. Staying off of welfare and trying to
get the bills paid by doing odd jobs is one way. Not searching for a man
to take care of me is another.
and yet getting
only as far as 
. I'm sure
that there are others out there that feel the same.
learning
how to do web pages they were simply referred to as "Personal Home pages".
I took that to mean that you were supposed to tell about yourself; the
things that were important to you; and what was going on in your life.
I didn't want to depress people when they came to my web site, so I wrote
an extremely small portion of what had happened; you could call it a brief
summary. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of blunt)
individual. I do not feel that I have anything to hide. My
updating of my web site has been very tardy...but with good reason.
I have received so many e-mail's and messages in my Guestbook from people
who have learned something from what I've said. From my viewpoint
my page is low in particular information. I tried to keep emotional
content to a minimum simply because I didn't want people to become overly
upset. However, visitors seem to have acquired insight on a problem
I believe rarely thought about. I thought my experiences were common,
I found out that few know of such a life. Also, women who have lived
similarly have sent me e-mail expressing their feelings of comfort in the
knowledge they are not alone. Quite honestly I was afraid if I updated
it that I would screw it up somehow. "Mr. Wacky" moved out of state.
In two years my son has received very little contact. I have to admit
that there is only person that I feel sorry for and that is my son.
He never asked to be born; and every boy needs his Father. From no
fault of his own, he will pay for my mistakes. It is difficult to
be a good Mommy and a responsible workforce citizen. At the moment I am
looking for more opportunities with the computer and home based employment.
To give you an idea of what I am speaking of -
my son Allan's page.
